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Man How old are you? Single Religious affiliation : Atheist How religious are you? Heterosexual How many sexual partners have you had in your life including oral sex?

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What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How did you feel about them before the hookup?

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We were both attending the same conference. I had ed out the other delegates asking if any of them wished to share a taxi from the station. She responded, so we met there and headed to the conference.

Hooking up, sex differences, and emerging research for a changing landscape.

We were together talking for about an hour and a half before we started meeting other conference delegates. In that time, we had a great conversation — a lot of it about human sexuality and relationships from an academic perspective. It was clear that we both had very liberal views on sex, including a positive attitude towards casual sexual and promiscuity. After our time that day at the conference, everyone was heading back relatively early before I got back to my room then got a text from her, which was a comment on the fact that everyone had finished so soon.

I suggested getting some drink somewhere and bringing it back to my room, which we did. We chatted for a bit. It was quite clear it was going to happen. What led to it?

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Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I initiated it with kissing. We were in my room at the conference accommodation. What sexual behaviors took place e.

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How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover?

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What did you talk about? How did it end? She soon revealed that her period had started just a few hours before. I kissed, massaged, and stimulated in other ways various parts of her body for a while. She also played with my penis in her hand.

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We then had penetrative sex in a few positions. I had a lot to drink that day, but I was able to finish in doggy position with a condom on.

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How did you feel about it the next day? How do you feel about them now? We lay down and spoke for a little while. I asked if she wanted me to do anymore to pleasure her. It was hard to tell. I like to do quite a lot to ensure a partner has a few orgasms before I even think about penetrative sex.

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After talking for a bit with my arm around her, we cleared up and she went back to her room. The next night, I texted her to see if she wanted to hang out again.

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She needed to prepare for her talk the next day though. I said I would be up til late, so if she changed her mind, she could just let me know. She said she would try to. That was very likely as all this texting was going on after in the morning. If we had hooked-up after she had done her prep, we would not have got any sleep until about 5am. After the conference was over, I said my goodbyes to everyone. I managed to catch her on her own. She gave me a little gift and a note saying it was great to meet me, and she said nice stuff about my research.

It was really nice.

The best place to meet a one-night stand is actually somewhere you go every single day

We both believed in a more sexually casual world and we got to act on that belief at this conference. She was also from a country far away, so there was no problems whatsoever in terms of expectations. I texted her later thanking her for the gift and note. We both hope to see each other at another conference in the future, and I am sure we will.

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We also now have each other on Facebook. What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Check all that apply Condoms. What were your motives for this hookup?

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Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner sThought it was an important experience to have, Making new friends. What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Bonding with another person and making a friend. The fact that she was on her period and this limited some things we could do.

I wanted to do more for her. Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general?

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My beliefs are quite firmly set. What would you like to see changed in that regard? I love it. I want more people to love it and learn how to do it better.

Conference hook-up

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Conference hookup

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Social psychologist Justin Lehmiller, a faculty affiliate of The Kinsey Institute, has built a career researching casual sex, sexual fantasy, and sexual health all of which he tackles on his blog, Sex and Psychology.


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In this on-demand, technology-obsessed era, no-strings-attached sex seems easier to come by than ever.


Posted May 8, Reviewed by Davia Sills.