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Men have disappointed and let us down multiple times on various occasions. They have mistreated and betrayed us before. They have also abused our girlfriends and the women in our families.


However, it is also common knowledge that a lot of people go through a stage in their life where they keep finding themselves attracted to assholes note that I use this term equally for men and women. Why oh why do we keep doing this to ourselves?! Well, thanks to studies conducted by social psychologists from the Interdisciplinary Center Herzliya, the University of Rochester, and the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, we finally have some insight as to why the heck this is such a common problem, especially for straight women.

Now more than ever, we have a duty to take ownership of masculinity and redefine it in a positive way

Being responsive to your partner is wildly important to a successful relationship — both emotionally and in the bedroom — but is it attractive from the get-go? After the interaction, the participants were asked to rate how masculine or feminine they perceived their partner to be, followed by how sexually attracted to them they were. Guess what? Men rated their responsive female partners as more feminine and therefore more attractive.

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Women, however, did not find their responsive partners particularly masculine or feminine — and worse yet, being responsive was marginally but negatively associated with how attractive they found their male partner. Yes, you read that right: the less responsive guys were i. Thousands, right?

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So, we have to admit that our alleged attraction to their evasive behavior is totally illogical. I mean, I get it, men are confusing; you have a great time on a date and when you text him afterwards, he seems weirdly nonchalant about it.

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But, as much as we hate to admit it, or whether or not we realize it, many of us enjoy the chase. Men, on the other hand, love being chased — it gives them what I assume to be a similar confidence boost to the one women get when the chase is over.

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Being open about your feelings in a budding relationship can be scary. Responsiveness openness, empathy, kindness are qualities that men innately look for in women. The study even shows that men find responsive, therefore more feminine women more sexually desirable. Women I know, myself included, are often turned off by men that we see as effeminate, and unfortunately, because I think a lot of women see men who show their emotions right off the bat responsive men as feminine, we are less attracted to them.

Unfortunately, in our society, being masculine or unfeminine at least is often equated with being an asshole.

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Professor Gurit Birnbuam, lead researcher in this study, agrees. Women may perceive [a responsive] person as inappropriately nice and manipulative i. Alternatively, women may perceive a responsive man as vulnerable and less dominant. Acting casual is different than being non-responsive.

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Bottom line, confidence is the sexiest trait you can find in any partner, man or woman, so be as casual as you want, but be confident in yourself, your desires, and your feelings for the people you meet. Founded by 3 sisters in in NYC, CMB aims to deliver a fun, safe, and quality dating experience that in meaningful relationships.

I don't really like assholes, do i?

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However, it is also common knowledge that a lot of people go through a stage in their life where they keep finding themselves attracted to assholes note that I use this term equally for men and women.


Almost everyone has that ex they stayed with for too long, that one who never listened, treated them horribly, or could never commit, but still held an inexplicable power and magnetism.


Boys get their definitions of manhood, strength, love, and self from watching other men —specifically, their d.


Posted January 19, Reviewed by Matt Huston.