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Not to mention, it equates sex with gender and disregards non-binary, gender-nonconforming, and agender folks by equating women with people with vaginas and contrasting them with men. You may have even heard it in a feminist context. As this last statement shows, the notion that women are more pleasant to look at can have insidious implications.

Nude drawings and scantily clad magazine covers may seem innocent, but nudity and clothedness have long symbolized power dynamics.

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And whenever we consider something human nature, we block ourselves off from questioning it. To be clear, this is not a diatribe against people who are attracted to women. However, we run into some problems when we assume that the affinity for looking at women is universal and that its normalization is devoid of oppressive power dynamics.

And we need to start seeing that for what it is: a problem. This double standard sends the message that men are supposed to look and women are supposed to be looked at.

Stop living for the approval of women

It deems women passive objects of desire and deprives them of their right to have desires of their own. As such, the male gaze is a heterosexual one, and non-binary people are rendered invisible, neither subjects nor objects of the gaze. Films, TV, and other visual media prompt everyone, including straight women, to see through the eyes of a straight man, both literally and figuratively. Many people like looking at men. Many people have no preference.

Those perspectives are all equally valid.

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Today, the Wodaabe people of Africa hold beauty contests for men judged by women. For example, in English, using the appearance-related words typically deated for women toward men can be an insult. The idea that women as a group are more aesthetically pleasing relies on the presumption that all women look similar — and that all people with vaginas are women. Everyone is beautiful, yet few are deemed beautiful by conventional standards. When we acknowledge that there are many different genders and that people with all different bodies can identify with any of them, it becomes impossible to make judgments about which gender has the most attractive body.

A truly feminist, body-positive viewpoint says that everybody can be beautiful in their own way, and no group is objectively more attractive than any other.

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And we all deserve to feel beautiful, no matter what gender we are. You can follow her on Twitter suzannahweiss. Used by hundreds of universities, non-profits, and businesses. Click to learn more. Source: iStock.

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Beauty is truly only skin deep, and at the end of the day, it's pretty meaningless if we don't foster the more lasting parts of our identity, like kindness and intelligence.


People-pleasing might not sound all that bad.