- I am 49
- What is my nationaly:
- I'm serbian
- What is my hair:
- Curly hair
- Zodiac sign:
- I prefer to drink:
- I like to listen:
My grandfather spoke these words of wisdom to her and she passed them on to me. This phrase served me very well. It became one of my highest virtues. People who know me know that I do what I say I am going to do. So how is your character?
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
That's a proverb that I heard a lot growing up. If a friend was quick to leave me out, well then it was their loss! I was quickly taught how to respond to disloyalty by everyone from my mother to my third grade teacher, but was never truly shown how to build loyalty in my relationships in the first place. I've never been particularly trusting in nature : a few sour friendships early on in life left me with a slightly bitter aftertaste.
When I was 16, and my band-camp boyfriend cheated on me, I just shrugged my shoulders and told myself I should have known better. In college, if a guy used the line, " it's not you, it's me ," I was quick to snort in his face and tell him off.
I expected people to betray or abandon me; it was my standard setting. So when I started dating my partner, I spent the first few months on my toes, searching for any s of fight or flight. I was so sure that the tiniest hint of incompatibility would send them running for the hills, but that day never came.
More in life
And over time, they taught me how to truly build a foundation of loyalty in a relationship : it starts with the ability to trust, not only your partner, but yourself. When your partner is experiencing something difficult, don't respond with pity.
Instead of simply reacting sympathetically and feeling bad for them, try to understand the source of their pain. Gary Brown tells Bustle.
There is a distinct difference between hearing what someone is saying, and actively listening to them speak. When conversing with your partner, process each sentence and mull over every point, before responding. Brown says.
You will better understand their point of viewand subsequently, be able to engage in a fruitful and meaningful dialogue. Then, the next time you need to talk something outthey'll be there to do the same. It's easy to abruptly make choices when they solely affect you, but when your in a relationship, there's another person's feelings to consider.
Before jumping the gun on a big career move or life decision, discuss it with your partner first. Even if it's ultimately a resolution that you need to reach on your own, they will appreciate being clued into the conversation, and it will demonstrate that you respect their time, space, and loyalty. Learning a new skill, trying something for the very first timeor experiencing a place, trip, or art form with your partner is a great way to bond you two together.
Brown tells Bustle. Whenever your partner looks back on the shared adventure, they will partly associate that moment of happiness and security with you.
Quotes about loyalty
It's a level of understanding that loyalty is derived from. There is very much a difference between lying to your partner and withholding the truthbut both are layers of dishonesty that imply some form of secret-keeping. To avoid distrust and little-white-lies that stack up to form a mountain, communicate your thoughts, feelings, and fears when they initially arise, with your partner.
Be patient with each other. It's important to realize that effective communications require a certain amount of courage and vulnerability. Even if your partner is not the most important person in your life, when you open yourself up to someone completely, they inadvertently become a priority: you want to protect and nurture that connection.
So if someone matters to you that much, show them! If you feel safe enough to remain vulnerable around someone, they will return your sentiments with their own loyalty.
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Surprises are not always a good thing per say: you need to remember to be respectful of your partner's time and space. But once those boundaries are defined, performing random acts of kindness for those you love, and seeing the joy that they bring about, can be incredibly gratifying! Next time you go over to your partner's house, pack their favorite snack food. If you pass something that makes you think of them in a store window, grab them a gift for no reason.
For men, the most important quality that they are looking for in a partner is loyalty.
I know she likes them this time of the year, so this is one of the little things that I do to let her know that I'm thinking of her and love her. It's an accumulation of these small little surprises that often add up to earning her loyalty over time.
Small special moments, planned with no expectation of reciprocation, are not only fun and memorable, but can establish mutual respect and loyalty. Loyalty does not necessarily mean sweeping dramatic gestures or caveats, like choosing your partner above all else, or even the absence of infidelity.
Loyalty is marked by the little things one chooses to do, simply because they know it would mean the world to their partner. By Iman Hariri-Kia.