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There are a lot of moments that shape your relationship and can show you who your partner really is. If you want to know whether or not your partner is truly ride or die, pay close attention to when these defining instances happen. As experts say, some key relationship moments can help you determine whether your partner is in it for the long haul or not.

16 moments that help you know your partner is ride or die

As certified relationship coach Rosalind Sedacca, tells Bustle, even the most seemingly inificant moment can show you how committed your partner really is. That's because a ride or die partner isn't afraid to show their commitment to you, whether you're out having fun together with friends or arguing about money. So it's important to have a partner who loves us for who we are — dirt, damage and all!

It's not always easy to tell if your partner is going to stick around long-tern. So here are some moments that can help you determine how truly committed your partner is, according to experts. You can try to be this cool, collected, and seemingly "perfect" version of yourself as much as you can. But guaranteed, there will come a time when you will somehow embarrass yourself in front of your partner. As Sedacca says, if you can "heave up your meal all over your partner or do something equally as disgusting and they still show up again the next day, that's a partner who will always be there for you.

Birthdays may not matter for some people. But if celebrating yours is important and you've directly expressed it, a ride or die partner will not only remember your birthday every year but will be there to celebrate with you. Having a death in the family is a sad moment that no one ever wants to experience. In tough moments like these, pay attention to what your partner does. As Zink says, "Your partner should be by your side to support you in any way they can.

If your partner invites you to a big family gathering because they want you to meet the important people in their life, you're already off to a really good start. But if they go the extra mile to make sure you are completely comfortable, they're definitely a keeper.

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This may not be a big event like a holiday gathering or a birthday, but this subtle moment of realization can really solidify how your partner sees your relationship. According to Omari, when your partner uses words like "we" and "us" instead of "I" and "me" while talking about their goals for the future, they are mentally planning for a life that includes you. Sometimes it's hard to suck up your pride and admit that you're wrong. As Omari says, it's difficult to say "I'm sorry" because it's "an experience that comes at their own expense," and it makes them more vulnerable.

But if your partner is truly ride or die, they'll be able to do so without any sort of prompting from you. We're all going to get sick at some point, so you should be able to say that your partner is going to be there for you during those moments, especially if you're thinking of a lifelong commitment. If you're dealing with a mental illness, Graber says, being able to share your struggles with your partner in a judgment-free setting is also another huge that someone is truly ride or die.

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Most people naturally assume that a loyal partner will be there for you during the bad times. But if your partner is truly ride or die, Graber says, they'll also be there for you during your successes without feeling insecure about themselves, threatened, or jealous. When someone isn't ride or die material, you'll know by their flaky and noncommittal attitude. As therapist Sarah Tottle tells Bustle, "If you're trying to plan events but your partner is vague and noncommittal, that may mean they lack the interest to see the relationship through.

A ride or die partner won't do that.

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They have enough respect for you and your time to make plans and actually follow through with them. Loyalty is one of the most important qualities in a relationship. According to her, loyalty can take many forms. For instance, they may refuse to go to a store where the sales associate was rude to you or they'll defend you against a joke someone made at your expense. Loyalty shows that someone is fully invested in your relationship, Graber says. If your partner is ride or die, you'll never have to question their loyalty to you.

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When you spend a ton of time with someone, you're going to start noticing little things they do that may irritate you. If your partner doesn't notice what your major pet peeves are and tries to work on them, therapist Katie Leikam, LCSWtells Bustle, this could be a that they don't value you as much as much you need to them to.

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If you tell them a habit of theirs is annoying and they won't stop or they keep doing it to annoy you even more, this doesn't bode well for a long-term partnership. A ride or die partner will pay attention, listen to your concerns, and will do their best to change the habit that irritates you. Keep in mind, this isn't about wanting to change your partner completely.

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It's about tweaking little behaviors like remembering to put the toilet seat down or washing their dishes right after they eat. Planning big events like a wedding require a lot of conversations you wouldn't normally have. According to Henderson, you'll have to have a real talk about money, you'll have to figure out ways to make both of your families happy, and you'll have to deal with all the stress of things that will inevitably go wrong.

Dabney, MDtells Bustle.

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If your partner doesn't offer you any sort of emotional support when you're having a rough day but expects it from you, they are definitely not your ride or die. Dabney says. Relationships that are built on anything less are just headed for heartache.

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If you're looking to be with your partner long-term, they better have some good conflict resolution skills. A ride or die partner knows not to shut down and leave when things need to be discussed. They'll listen to you during fights and they won't say things in the heat of the moment that will make the situation worse.

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Melissa Deutertells Bustle. More often than not, their fights tend to get resolved much quicker.

When you embarrass yourself in front of them and they laugh it off with you

When you're with someone who's going to be there for you forever, there's a level of comfort between the two of you that you can't get with anyone else. If your partner can do these "gross" things around you behind closed doors, they're very comfortable being themselves around you. A partner who is ride or die will spend time getting to know you. They're happy to just spend a few moments each day talking to you.

When you stay curious about each other and spend time each day asking each other deeper questions, you're building a strong emotional connection that will help your relationship last. There are so many moments that make up a relationship, both big and small.

These are just a few of them that can help you know that your partner is really in it with you for the long haul. By Kristine Fellizar. See All Health Relationships Self.

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