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By Joe Dillon, Divorce Mediator. If you're an older couple divorcing after a long-term marriage, it's referred to as a gray divorce or late life divorce. In a gray divorce, there are a of critical issues you need to be aware of so your divorce doesn't go sideways. If you don't want to waste money or time on your divorce, or add stress to your life, here's what to do to get the best result.


Why more couples are divorcing at older ages (and after more years of marriage) than before — and what you can do to avoid it

What are some factors to weigh when deciding whether to tie the knot as a mature adult? More than one in three people ages 50 to 64 are divorced, widowed, separated, or never married, according to the Census Bureau. Palmer advises opening up about your baggage, be it financial or medical, as soon as you realize that a relationship has potential.

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That could be as early as the second or third date, she said, before you discuss whether the two of you should see one another exclusively. This opens the lines of communication for more detailed discussions down the road, she said. While opting not to marry is sometimes easier from a financial perspective, the decision to remain unwed raises separate issues for people in a committed relationship, experts say, since marriage affords certain protections.

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Ideally, parties will consult an attorney and a financial adviser before walking down the aisle in midlife and beyond. Krooks, an elder-law attorney with offices in Rye Brook, N. From a purely financial point of view, Krooks often counsels clients against matrimony, although he noted there are plenty of good, noneconomic reasons to get hitched.

Sharing costs and assets

However, if you apply for credit tly, such as for a mortgage, then a low score will drag down your application. Also be aware of any credit-related liabilities that your partner may have in the closet, Ulzheimer said. If that subsequent marriage ends, the recipient could be entitled to reclaim the benefits from the first ex-spouse.

Estate planning can get complicated when people remarry later in life, especially if there are children in the picture from prior relationships. Trusts can be used to set aside assets for both the children and the new spouse.

Your sex life at 50+

While property laws vary by state—and the duration of the marriage can be a factor in how assets are allocated after a death—without a trust the new spouse could stand to inherit assets from the deceased spouse, taking precedence over any adult children. Trusts can also protect non-spouses in an unequal financial partnership.

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A trust could be established to provide for the man if the surgeon dies or becomes incapacitated. The surgeon could also take out life insurance with her boyfriend as the beneficiary to give him funds upon her death.

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To do this, the surgeon would need to be in relatively good health, and the relationship would have to be deemed serious and legitimate by the insurance company, said Jean-Marc Fix, vice president of research and development at Optimum Re Insurance Company in Dallas. Many people consider what will happen if their loved one dies, but fewer think about their partner losing capacity and becoming unable to care for him or herself, said Brad Frigon, a trusts, estates and elder law attorney in Denver and president-elect of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys.

This legal document will allow the well partner to make medical decisions on behalf of the unwell partner.

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Securing a health care power of attorney will also help ensure that unmarried partners can visit one another in the hospital. This can be important both for married and unmarried partners, but may prove particularly vital for the latter if the couple has kept their finances separate and the need arises to pay for medical or other expenses.

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See also my March article about power of attorney. Does your prospective spouse have a long-term care insurance policy? If not, how does he or she expect to pay for future help, if needed, with activities of daily life such as bathing and dressing?

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See Women face a new long-term care dilemma. Medicaid pays for long-term care services for beneficiaries who meet stringent financial requirements that vary by state.

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For some couples, this may be a reason to keep their financial lives separate, even as their personal lives merge. Women face a new long-term care dilemma.

The financial pros and cons of getting married later in life

Make your heirs happy: Update your will. Follow her on Twitter elizobrien.

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Economic Calendar Coronavirus Recovery Tracker. Up Log In. Decisions, decisions. Here's the math. Elizabeth O'Brien.

Marrying after 50? you’ll have money problems to solve

Elizabeth O'Brien covers retirement for MarketWatch. You can follow her on Twitter elizobrien. Robots are hiding 27 million workers from employers who need them. How much insurance you need for your health, home, car.

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The of adults older than 50 who were living together outside of marriage more than doubled between and , from 1.


However, I was attracted to traditional men who had typical expectations of a wife, and I knew any of them would try to change me.


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