CharleneWrite a message
- Years old:
- I'm lady
Support Local Journalism. the Cleveland Scene Press Club. Dating, so-called cougars, comes with its upsides.
Thompson believed that the "nice" men she wanted to attract were intimidated by her because she's beautiful and successful.
Thanks for rating
The only men who were interested, she thought, wanted flings and no commitment. The Monday-iest Monday ever. Thompson has two children, who are 1 and 5 years old, and she split up with her partner about two years ago when she was pregnant. When she started dating, she wasn't really looking for anything serious either, she told Insider. But as her life changed, so did her priorities. Thompson believed that her curse was being a gorgeous, successful model and that men found this intimidating.
But it wasn't until she met Sami Wunder, a modern dating and relationship coachthe author of the ebook "Your Feminine Roadmap To His Commitment ," that she learned this wasn't the reason she was having trouble at all. : A relationship coach who believes women should date multiple men on rotation says these are the 7 things wrong with modern dating. Thompson said she wasn't aware that even the smallest decisions could attract men who were totally wrong for her.
Wunder, who is paid thousands by her clients and has had engagements come from her sessions in the past three years, taught Thompson exactly what she was doing wrong and how to find the love she thought was out of reach. Thompson thought she had no time to fit in dating because she was a single mother — a "disempowered story," Wunder said.
People devote time to what they think is important, she said, so she had Thompson block out two evenings a week for dates, should they come up. This way she could plan ahead when she needed to ask parents or friends to babysit. Thompson struggled with putting an authentic version of herself on her dating apps, which in turn was attracting men who didn't see her true self.
She told Insider she was going for men who suited a superficial aesthetic she liked, with a "bad boy" vibe and tattoos. Wunder said Thompson's profile, with bikini photos and a description saying she was looking for a "wild, passionate lover," was really underselling what she had to offer. Wunder had Thompson delete everything on her profiles and start fresh. She added photos of her in nice dresses and walking in nature, and made sure to mention her children and how important they are to her.
Thompson said that when she made these changes, the shift in the men she was attracting was immediate. She learned that being up-front and transparent was the best way of finding someone who would fit in with her life. Otherwise, it's not fair on you or the other person.
It's easy to fall into the trap of having 'limiting beliefs'
Once Thompson was setting up dates with men who had potential, she was overwhelmed by all the attention, so Wunder helped her work out how to organize it all. Wunder's process is exchanging four online messages before asking for a phone call, then a real-life date. A five-minute phone call, she said, helps filter out anyone who might not be a match for whatever reason. Thompson was also encouraged to try Wunder's tried-and-tested method of "rotational dating," or dating more than one person at a time.
It doesn't mean sleeping with multiple people — it just helps prevent getting too involved too soon with someone before they're willing to commit.
How to meet people in luxembourg
: Why this relationship coach swears by dating several men at once, known as 'rotational dating'. But Thompson soon got used to the idea and realized she wasn't getting hurt as much as she had before, as "it stops you getting obsessed with someone in the beginning. But it's not always the way, is it?
So it seems to really be working out well. Thompson's relationships had all been about physical attraction, Wunder said, but that's just one aspect of finding a romantic relationship. I said, 'You need to get clear and identify what it is that you want, who is it that you want, and what would work with your. There's no point dating someone who is wildly attractive but has your non-negotiables, like not having a job or wanting more children, because it just won't work out.
Lesson 1: time management
But once you sleep with a man, you get attached. And you often get attached to the wrong man.
Wunder added that before someone gets attached, they have to evaluate the person in front of them. Thompson said that she'd met someone who really has potential but would continue to date rotationally for now. She added that she'd learned to relax through realizing exactly what it is that she wants, "because if you don't know what you want, you can't possibly attract it. World globe An icon of the world globe, indicating different international options.
Get the Insider App. A leading-edge research firm focused on digital transformation. Lindsay Dodgson.
Jenna Thompson, a model and presenter, thought that she was intimidating to men and that her beauty and success was preventing her from finding love. But after working with Sami Wunder, a modern dating coach, she told Insider that her perspective had changed and that she didn't just attract "bad boys" anymore.
Wunder teaches her clients — of whom have gotten engaged in the past three years — to date rotationally, which means not being exclusive with someone until they fully commit. Thompson said she was attracting the wrong sorts of men for her because her dating profile was showing an image of herself that wasn't honest and true.
Making the adjustments Wunder suggested has meant Thompson is now dating men who aren't just looking for a noncommittal fling. Top stories based on your reading preferences. Loading Something is loading. address.
Introducing Insider's new daily crossword! Stay up to date with what you want to know.