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  • Years old:
  • 41
  • My figure features:
  • My body type is plump
  • In my spare time I love:
  • Riding a bike


I'm not a great traveler. Don't get me wrong. I love going getting out of Brooklyn in fact, in the plus years I've lived here I haven't done it nearly enough and heading off to different places to meet new people and explore new things. But, of course, there's no place quite like home I know I may be a little different than some of you in that, because I write about sex for a living, rather than having a discreet stash of vibrators in a decorative box or drawer, I have an embarrassment of devices hidden in various nooks and crannies all over my room.


Want to expand your toy collection?

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These online sex toy shops guarantee fast, discreet delivery across the UK. If you're not sure where to start, read on for our pick of the best vibrators, fetish gear, luxury brands and fun accessories. Purchases made through links on this may earn us a commission.

The best discreet sex toys

Spicing up your sex life with toys is huge fun for couples and makes solo pleasure even better — but knowing which are the best sex toys and where to buy them is a minefield. Thanks to the internet, you can get almost any toy you can think of with fast, easy and discreet delivery across the UK. While you might think all the fun is in the using, the choosing can be quite the treat too. These bestselling sex toys are fantastic for newbies, a brilliant addition to the toy cupboard for any regular users, and great for taking control of your own sexual pleasure.

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You needn't worry about the noisy, clunky sex toys of the past: the new generation is sleek, whisper quiet and very effective! Remember that you need to be safe with sex toys — they should always be made from food-grade silicone.

Enjoy exploring our pick of the best sex toy shops and what to buy, from luxury toys and affordable vibrators to bondage gear and more! Tease, play and experiment with everything from a function bullet vibrator to an anal plug and cock ring. It sold out during lockdown which should tell you all you need to know but is back in stock now. It comes in a range of colours and does the job very well.

Discreet & quiet vibrators that won’t wake up the whole house

Their Sona clitoral massager is the world's bestselling sex toy and lives up to all the hype. It's the best hands-free gadget for men on the market. This updated version has been redeed to hit the G-spot of as many women as possible. Set up by a husband and wife team in their quest to make the best sex toy for clitoral stimulation, they achieved their goal and then some.

Womanizer's Pleasure Air Technology has alternating pressure to recreate the sensation of oral sex and up to 12 different wave settings so you can choose exactly how you like it. Their stimulators are considered some of the best in the biz and even Lily Allen partnered with them last year to create her very own sex toy, the Liberty. They've taken all the best bits of their flagship product and reduced as much plastic as possible. It's a unique, eco-friendly toy made from biodegradable Biolene, saving six tonnes of plastic a year. Even better, a tree is planted for ever Premium Eco bought.

With 12 intensity levels, you'll do good for the planet and amazing things for your body. Celebrate self-love anywhere you like with this travel-friendly de that's perfect to use at home or on holiday. And did we mention, it's completely waterproof? A honeymoon hit for sure! Bondara has all the mainstream stuff, but a special interest too in bondage and festish. For Fifty Shades fan who want a soft start, look to their blindfolds, ticklers and silk ties. Hardcore fans can find professional electric and medical toys, chastity devices and much more. It comes with a how-to pocket book with photographs to teach you all the BDSM essentials and 32 knots and ties!

This stylish leather-look set with plush lining is for anyone who wants to expand their bondage collection. BuzzPinky is a younger take on the sex toy game. But it is all highly-rated, incredibly safe products with the latest market launches.

With a huge range of toys available with next day Prime delivery and coming in inconspicuous Amazon packaging, the online retailer giant is a surprisingly good place to buy your sex toys.

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Vibrator offerings are comprehensive, and almost every kink is covered too: Japanese shibari bondage rope, electric stimulators, sex dolls, swings. Wand massagers are ideal for using to tease each other as part of your foreplay and for solo play. Shop Now. We love a site that does what it says on the tin. Sex Toys stocks a huge range of brands, with lo for men like Fleshlight and Tenga male masturbators, and female-focused ones like LELO and environmentally-friendly vibe brand Adrien Lastic.

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The closed end increases the suction and the satisfaction; it'll fast become your favourite way to play. The ring comes with a five-pattern vibrating bullet that will oomph to every session for both parties. Unleash your inner Picasso and then nibble and lick it off. One charge lasts for up to two hours of playtime and the motor is quieter than the tick of a clock.

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They aim to give you the best masturbation session of your life, with sleeves, Fleshlights, Oxballs, sex dolls, prostate massagers and more. Some even come with VR heets! It's easy to clean, contains no chemicals and can last a lifetime if cared for correctly. Kandid are new on the scene and make luxuriously-deed, gender-neutral sex toys. Their mission is to take the stigma out of sex toys and create a world where people are comfortable to talk about sexual wellness.

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With how beautiful their toys are, you won't feel any need to hide it in your bedside cabinet. The toys are made to last a lifetime, but sustainability is key so everything is recyclable too. We love the fun 'Sex Ed' guide by sex educator and body-positivity advocate Ruby Rare, with lo of tips. Each is gently curved to complement the body's anatomy. It comes in blue too if pink isn't your thing.

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Playtime for plenty of couples involves fantasy role play. The two piece features a black mini skirt and cropped, badged top. We love this slim rotating rabbit; it has three rotating speeds in the shaft for internal pleasure, vibrating ears and four pulse patterns and three vibration settings. Instead, the wax is deliciously warm and makes for a unique sensation on your skin. One review re: "Most effective! Leaves nice marks" and another "tingling and pleasurable". Prowler was founded as a Soho gay sex and lifestyle shop — now you can buy their toys, clothing and more online.

The best discreet sex toys when you want to lowkey get off

Swiss Navy is a favourite brand, and we love these six water-based flavoured lubes that are non-sticky, light weight and sugar-free. It features a slim, medium and large plug and the large vibratesplus silicone be and two cock rings. Pleasure Attic is for those on a tighter budget with discount codes readily available, but it does mean you sometimes need to be a little more discerning with your choices.

Turn your electric toothbrush into the ultimate clit stimulator with the tingletipa super discreet way to take a sex toy away with you.

It's sleek, feminine and sensual; great for solo play and ideal for popping into your honeymoon suitcase. If only deer will do, Coco de Mer will stock it. This luxury sex shop is perfect for special occasions, with lingerie, sex toys, bondage equipment and latexwear, right down to massage oils all available from their shop or online.

Sex-positivity and female pleasure is most important here, so expect exciting products and a fantastic value own-brand range. Made from body-safe plastic, they're easy to fit in your bag for on-the-go sizzle.

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A narrow band fits around your tongue with a vibrating bead on the tip for extra stimulation during oral sex. For The Closet is an all-round good egg in the sex toy world. They not only have all the biggest brands and lo of toys on sale, but they provide you with free batteries so you can start playing straight away. We love their games and sexy costumes section for adding some spice to your foreplay. Roll them to slowly reveal what your foreplay fun will be tonight, from the chosen body part to what you'll need to do to it. Not only does Seriously Sensual have an amazing set of vibrators for women, men and couples, it sells just about everything you can imagine for awesome foreplay.

The kit comes topped off with a finger vibrator with 10 settings. A lacy front is super feminine, while a belt nips in your waist, and stretch mesh hugs your curves in all the right places. Log In up. By Helen Pye 7 May 1.

Saved Save. Shop Now 5. A massage is the perfect thing to get you in the mood and this takes all the hard work out of it. You relax, unwind and destress, before turning the massager around to become a powerful sex toy. It also makes it easy to hide in your bedroom as simply a "back massager".

Amazon Best for: Budget buys With a huge range of toys available with next day Prime delivery and coming in inconspicuous Amazon packaging, the online retailer giant is a surprisingly good place to buy your sex toys. Our Favourite Amazon Products Wand massagers are ideal for using to tease each other as part of your foreplay and for solo play. Shop Now Kandid Best for: Sex toy kits Kandid are new on the scene and make luxuriously-deed, gender-neutral sex toys. Ann Summers Best for: Fancy dress Playtime for plenty of couples involves fantasy role play. The toy's two moving arms have over different vibration patterns too - it's seriously pleasurable.

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We can like our sex toys and want to grow our collection, and want discreet sex toys we can depend on to give us a good time in private.


We include products we think are useful for our readers.


Luckily, there are some sex toys out there that are totally discreet, either in de, noise, or even storage, and below I have created a list just for you on all of my favorite discreet beauties.


We include products we think are useful for our readers.