Caroline

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Information

  • What is my age:
  • I'm 25 years old
  • Nationality:
  • Indonesian
  • My sex:
  • Female
  • I like to drink:
  • Vodka
  • My favourite music:
  • Opera

About

Hookup culture has become an accepted style of human connection. The desire to have sex without strings has always been a thing — proudly searching for just that it is just way less taboo than it was when your grandparents were dating.

Description

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Engaging in a sexual relationship without investing emotionally can be empowering. Even healing. Recently I just had my second hook-up experience. It was a month after my first one.

A cultural revolution

Both times were with a foreign guy who had good sense of humor and who treated me respectfully, and both times we had a great time. I had an uncomfortable feeling after hooking up, and not because I regretted it. Instead, it was because I actually enjoyed something that society tells me is wrong. Something is wrong with this and I need to set some things straight. Before my messy break-up a year ago, I only slept with my boyfriend.

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The break-up traumatized me. I was disgusted with the idea of having an intercourse with anyone beside my ex. Some people tried, of course, during party or when I traveled by myself and met people, and I always rejected them. Until a month ago, when a traveler asked me if I would like to have dinner with him. As an experienced solo traveler, I know the feeling when you want to hang out with local people to know more about the place you visit.

We met for a drink.

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This was during the time when I was missing my ex so much and when I was crying nearly every weekend because I felt so lonely after we officially stopped communicating three months earlier. I had been sexless for nearly a year, during which I regularly masturbated, too afraid to get the real sex.

So the temptation of starting the flirting game was very high, and I knew right away that he wanted to sleep with me. He accepted it, not being pushy whatsoever. We went to a party later and I danced wildly, something that I always do anyway. After I finished my drink, he went to get me another drink. While alone waiting for him, my mind changed. All I wanted that night was physical pleasure and as a woman with freedom, I knew I could have anything I wanted, if I wanted it.

Why should I have to feel bad for wanting to fulfill my biological need? Why do people see sex as a thing for men to enjoy, but a sacrifice for women? Long story short, he asked me if I would like to come to his place and I agreed. I wanted a meaningless physical connection and there is nothing wrong with that.

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Last weekend, I met a guy at a party and he was very cool, cute, and into me. After some time, he kissed me gently and later we went to his place.

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We had fun and he treated me affectionately after the intercourse. I left the next afternoon after having breakfast, watching a movie, and engaged in an interesting conversation.

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I had a good time overall. But then the feeling came again. I arrived at my own place and I felt uncomfortable because I enjoyed the experience.

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Am I too easy? Why should I play hard to get if I want it too? Doing it with a creep is a terrible idea. But doing it with someone you want, when you want it is liberating. A good friend asked me why I would have sex with someone with no prospect of relationship?

Top stories

I only wanted physical connection, not emotional one. No more crying over my failed relationship, because I know I can be happy in any possible way by my own. Hey there! Thank you for ing up for our newsletter.

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May 24, My Hook-up Experience 'Frees' Me. Elsie F is a journalist, traveler and a long-time believer of feminism. She is not a big fan of external validation concept, and she knows how to happily enjoy her life on daily basis. She ly lived in Europe.

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